A tale of love
by ButtonsMagoo
Summary: Vince Noir is fed up, his life is just a mismatch of unloving partners, or seedy attempts at seduction. He wants somthing more in his life, he needs that special northern man, and when he bumps into him that day, the chase begins.


**A/N: another AU, I like writing these! :D Now this has changed since I first wrote it, but I'm hoping not too much. I got this idea after watching the video to Pink U +Ur hand. So if anything seems familiar then that's why.  
Obviously Vince hasn't met Vince yet, and to be honest there is something that seems too familiar with this fic, if that comes across to you then let me know, I can't help but panic that someone's already written this idea and I've forgotten! Sorry if that's the scenario.  
Shouldn't be more than three more after this, at least I'm hoping not.**

Disclaimers: I don't own The Mighty Boosh or any of its characters; they all belong to Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding. I do on the other hand own 'Katie Noir' Vince's younger cousin.

**Chapter one: The Fitness Dungeon.**_  
_  
The sun was just rising over the grey city skyline, the cold air piercing any warmth the glowing yellow orb had to offer. Autumn leaves blew in the harsh winter wind, allowing them to tumble around captivating any work goers, or possibly small families on their school breakfast club runs, or even nursery. Suited people scurried up and down the streets, their hair blowing around, their star bucks keeping their reddening hands warm, and their croissants sustaining them for the morning of work. In another building, on the other hand was a boy, or let us say a young man, sliding his hands into aqua blue, open finger, diamante boxing gloves. His black hair spiking out at all angles. His upper body wasn't clothed, but the lower part had been adorned in blue tracksuit bottoms, dragging along the floor and concealing his knee-length converse. He lunged forwards, striking the large punch bag with a strong, forceful blow, a grunt deep in his throat as he lunged again encouraged by his female mentor, whom wasn't as elaborate looking as her student, even if they were only dressed for the use of her 'fitness dungeon' as she called it.

"Vince, pound that bag. Imagine that it's someone you hate! Just really beat it, if I don't see you break out into a sweat them I'm getting the jump rope out and you'll do a thousand jumps. You hear?" The woman screamed, her frown knitting together and she mimicked the punches he was throwing with her own fists, smiling to herself, her blonde hair tumbling around as she jolted her body around.

"Yes, Trisha!" Vince shouted back, his brow starting to moisten as he got more vigorous with the punches. The 'Fitness Dungeon' logo on the red bag morphing, imaginatively into her face as he punched, a smile spreading over his face as he felt the satisfaction of the bean bag dent under his knuckles.

"Okay, stop!" She shouted, pleased with what he'd produced. Vince stopped, and dropped to his knees panting as he wiped the sweat from his forehead with an unsheathed part of his arm. He stood back up looked across at Trisha who was smiling at him, nodding her head with approval.

"I think that will do for this morning, remember that I want to see you twice a day, so late afternoon should be sufficient." Trisha stated, bending down allowing her eyes to meet with his, she leant forwards and pressed a soft, unexpected kiss onto his warm lips. He jumped and pushed her away, backing off towards the door as she hastily followed him.

"Please, Vince! I didn't mean it!" Trisha cried, holding her arms out sobbing.

"I'm sick and tired of people doing this to me, what makes you think I love you? Hmm?" Vince snapped, turning on his heel and opening the door, allowing the cold air to circulate the stone room.

"But, I love you."

"Yeah, Trisha. I'm sorry, but I don't love you ok? I'm sick and tired of people treating me like this. Goodbye Trisha." Vince snapped, grabbing his jacket of the peg and pulling it over his pale arms.

"But, what about this afternoon?" She whimpered.

"Goodbye Trish." And with that he left, stepping out the door, slamming it behind him. When all of a sudden he was knocked to the ground, he looked up and searched around, grabbing an offending hand that had been thrust out to help him up, he took it with gratitude and stood back up.

"I'm so sorry about that, I wasn't looking where I was going… are you okay?"

"Um, yeah." Vince smiled, looking up. He was greeted by the smallest, and yet most beautiful eyes he'd ever seen in his life, his blue pools delving deep into their chocolate rivers. A small brown, moustache accompanied the brown eyes, and their tousled hair set the whole look off. Vince didn't realize he wasn't speaking, or making any attempts off movement until the man spoke.

"Um, hello?" He asked a soft northern lilt in his voice. Vince jumped, and smiled at him.

"Oh! Sorry, Hello. Yes, thank you I'm good just a knock, I've been through worse." He spoke, his voice zooming through the words, hardly audible to anyone but himself. The other man just smiled.

"Well that's okay then. I better be off now, got a shop to open. Bye." And with that the Northern man was gone, Vince sighed, his shoulders sinking to the ground as he slouched back off to his small flat which he shared with his cousin. The world seemed to have been a multitude of colours just moments ago, and now they had vanished, been erased an replaced with a awful array of gray, black and white.

--

The flat when he'd arrived back smelt strongly of garlic. Empty kebab boxes where littered all over the coffee table and slumped on the sofa, snoring was the figure of his youngest cousin, newly turned eighteen and seemed to be seizing every single booze filled moment she could.

"Katie." Vince smiled, nudging her arm hanging forlorn off the edge of the faux-leather upholstery, she mumbled and turned over, hiding her face under a pillow and muttering something that sounded like "Go away" Vince chuckled, and pulled his gloves off, throwing them at her, she jumped up and searched around her green eyes on full alert, scanning every area of the small living quarters.

"What was that?!" She cried.

"My gloves. Now come on, you need to go out and look for a job or something."

"I need a job? You're the one who owns this place, not me. You should be the one who pays for things." Katie protested, standing up and picking the empty take-away boxes up and slinging them in the bin at the end of the table.

"Yeah, you live here and pay bo diddly. You need to start earning, I mean you are eighteen after all."

"Who's bo diddly?" Katie asked, confused as she meandered into the kitchen, grabbing the medicine box from the top cupboard and scouring for an Alka-Seltzer.

"Never mind, eh? Just clean up in here then while I go out." Vince laughed, grabbing some Alka-Seltzer from under the sink and placing it in her hands.

"You stink." She mused, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

"Yeah, well I have been with Trisha. And anyway so do you, Garlic breath." Vince smiled. As Katie gave her a look of disgust, he shook his head at her and walked to the bathroom, turning the taps on for the bath and allowing the water to cascade into the white tub, squirting some bubble bath in, and taking his clothes off, sitting on the edge an occasionally running his hands through the water checking the temperature.

'_I wonder where he works_.' Vince's absent minded pondered, as he chewed on the skin around his thumb. '_It can't be anywhere fancy; I mean did you see what he was wearing? Corduroy slacks and a roll neck top? Probably some old fashioned brass repair shop, or by the looks of him he's probably a Vinyl Doctor, or something_.' Vince snickered to himself and leant forward turning the taps off, slipping into the bath. _'Maybe he wont even recognise me if I found him. Why are you wasting your time eh Vince? Even if you did find him he wouldn't be interested, he's not that kind of man, he likes women. Hell, he probably is already married to some old French woman, into knitting and making bookmarks. Besides you've got to look after Katie…_' Vince batted the Angel and Devil off his shoulders and submerged himself under the water momentarily, soaking his hair right through. He re emerged for air and sighed, knowing that once he was dressed he was going to go out window shopping. He had to find this man, there was so much about him that Vince liked, he seemed like the kind of man up for an adventure, he seemed nice, yet paranoid. He seemed like Vince's kind of man, the one person he'd been looking for, years of searching and he'd found him, only Vince was the kind of person to lose something when once found. He sighed, and yet again the world changed colour at the revelation that he'd probably never see him again.


End file.
